Last year I got married to my college colleague. My parents were strongly against this marriage but I was foolish & stubborn. I carelessly insisted to go through this failing experience. Consequently, I lost my loving family & found out that my husband is immature & irresponsible. His family considered that I have destroyed their son’s future. So they forced us to move to their remote town & live in a poor house in a neighborhood saturated with violence, witchcraft & adultery. I wept so bad every day that I’d faint sometimes. I would spend days all by myself while my husband is away at college or with his family. He neither showed responsibility as a husband nor as a student.

Repetitively I faced violent rebuke from my husband. He himself did not understand his reactions. I was sexually harassed by young men in the village when my husband was away. Neighbors, in-laws & my husband himself tried all kinds of spells & witchcraft against me using black & white magic. I screamed & wept uncontrollably. I’d talk to myself & to the demons & evil spirits & call them by names. I was left all alone in a dark room that lacked basic human needs. One night I cried out to God saying, “You my Creator! Where are you? Don’t you see the hell I am going through? I am suffering day & night. I want you to intervene. Come to my rescue. I am deeply broken.”

That same night, I saw Him. He was in white filled with light & peace. He said to me, “I am suffering the same pain you suffer. Just be patient. There is time for everything.”…. I kept seeing this dream over and over.

After some time, my family embraced me again. My Dad rented a small apartment for me away from our neighborhood where people gossip & their tongues have no mercy. Yet nightmares & bad dreams kept torturing me but then I would upon God and I’d see the same man in light saying, “I feel your pain. Be patient. There is a time for everything.” And I would feel some rest and peace.

Eight months passed by, days with tears & nights with nightmares though my family provided me with all means of comfort. One day as I was going through TV channels, I heard someone say, “Pray with me this prayer in Jesus name.” I did pray & felt peace in my heart. But the day after, tears and depression was back. So I tried to repeat the prayer I heard on TV and peace came back. That night I saw again the man in white light & I knew without any doubt that He is Jesus Christ. He said, “Continue to pray fervently.” I woke up & washed (the muslim way) for prayer & recited my muslim prayer then went back to sleep. This time I saw Jesus Christ looking at me with sad eyes. I asked myself, “What mistake have I done? He asked me to pray fervently.”

I shared my dreams with my mum & sisters. They said that it is just hallucinations & demonic works and I need to ignore them. But I was not satisfied with their response and decided to start my journey in search for this God who shares our pains, listens to our cries & responds with peace & rest. I surrendered completely to Jesus Christ … He changed my life…. I am a new Yasmin…. who forgave all who have hurt her and who looks to life with a new hope & love…..      

(Fup news: Yasmin visited our website & called our local number. When the fup worker met her, she had a small notebook in which she copied a lot of meditations from our site where God the King speaks to her as His daughter. Now she is writing her own meditations & sending them to the site)

My family & friends always thought that I was different & weird in my behavior & ideas. I was often curious to hear, know & help those people that my surrounding classified as unrighteous, astray or ill-mannered. I wanted to meet those rejected ones & understand & help them by any means.

My friends use to say that I have a different way of thinking & attitude, just like Christians. It was true. I cannot live among my people whose deeds are opposite to their words. Their faith is built on a bunch of contradictions. They want to manipulate others’ lives, telling them do this & do that. I could not comprehend that I “had” to follow my ancestors religion, repeating prayers in specific times doing certain rituals & actions and at the end not experiencing any change in my life & my behavior.

At a certain period of my life I rebelled against God. I claimed to be an atheist. But, even then, each time I faced a problem, I’d find God standing by my side & helping me through> Thus helped me keep my trust that a certain God exists but is He the God of Muslims or Christians.

Well, I know a few Westerner Christians from work & I DO know Muslims whom I live amongst. I felt that I need to start on my search for the God of Christians.

Whoever I asked would say “can we talk about something else?” or “A muslim who converts to Christianity is a backslider & deserves to be killed” or they would seem confused about the issue of trinity or deity of Jesus and considers it blasphemy….. Only one person said to me, “Christianity is love”…. But how come? Who can explain it? No one. Are there Moroccan Christians? I asked God to show me to some Christians so I can get answers to all my confusion….. One day I found in my brother’s junk a green book titled “New Testament- illustrative version”…. I read it but was not completely satisfied….. On another occasion, I saw a Facebook ad of a Moroccan Christian  site telling the story of a Christian Moroccan woman from a town not far from mine…. I was impressed and read through more on their site…. I lost sleep that night & went back to my computer to take their phone number. I did & I called you (#####) that night but no one answered. I was disappointed but early the next morning, you DID call me back and offered any kind of help to know Christ & grow in His knowledge….. I had loads of questions: how to pray, how to become a Christian, what is Christianity….. Thanks for holding my hand through this new path.

As a family, we went through a tough time last week…. I felt I had no shoulder to cry on…. I looked up to heaven & cried out to my Lord & poured my heart… and I SAW Him smiling back to me…. I felt like a soft breeze wrapping me and filling me with peace… It was a memorable time with Christ … and this happened more than once this week. The Lord is so close to us when we open up our hearts honestly…. I want to know more about my Saviour Jesus…. I want to know that I am pleasing HIM and not people around.

In one of the Hadith of Mohamed he says: “Teach your seven years old children to pray. Beat them up when they turn ten ……” My question to every sensible muslim is: How do you force a child to pray by beating him? On what is the relationship between the Creator & His creation based?”

Islam goes much further than beating, it deprives people from the right to reason & think for themselves and encourages them to reject without any discussion whoever things differently….. As I looked into Islam, many issues made me ask myself: “Is the God of Islam the true God?” Definitely, every sound & sensible person would answer with a “NO” because God is not a terrorist but compassionate…..

I thank the Lord Jesus Christ for providing media, internet, phone & satellite in order to open the doors of our hearts & minds so we might know the delivering truth….. I followed & downloaded lots of Christian TV shows (Life channel, Malakoot, Sat7) they encouraged & comforted me a lot…. I thank the Lord for facebook & internet through which I had the chance to meet Moroccan brothers & I got to meet with you personally & receive my own copy of the Bible…. I am overjoyed to receive Christ as my Savior & my joy would be greater when I get baptized & share the love of Christ with other brethren in a local church….. 

I saw Him in a dream. He was calling me. I rushed towards Him but two men stopped me. So, I got lost wandering in a spacious beautiful place. But I could not see Him. Maybe He was not pleased with me because I am addicted to alcohol & drugs. But I do love Christ. He is my sufficient savior & healer…. When I was on death-bed at the hospital, I always kept the Bible under my pillow. It was my friend & comforter. Doctors found my case hopeless but I was sure that Christ will heal me & give me life…. Now my doctors say to me, “Your healing & rescue from death is a miracle!” and I’d answer, “Christ is the miracle-doer!”

I received my miracle more than 10 years ago. The Lord healed me inside & outside with His powerful love & peace. He also gave me hunger & thirst for His word & for fellowship with other believers. Christian TV channels were the new family that God gave me…. I started searching for new believers to share the Word with them. So, I went to the nearest church in my town but, with fear & hesitation, the priest said to me, “We do not receive Moroccan believers in the church!!!” This was a shocking slap & I felt so grieved….. But the Lord promised to be with me & I will not fear or grow sad…. Days went by and finally I thought that the internet would be my only way to meet other believers…. So I bought a computer & with the help of my grand-daughter (since I am not good with computers) I was able to find other converts, just like me, and share God’s word & love with them…. God answered my prayers & I finally met some of them face-to-face and got baptized….

I searched more in both Sunni & Shii faith but rejected both at the end but Satan did not leave me alone….. I struggled for a long time from blackmagic & witchcraft… I got to a point where I used to talk to the jinn (evil spirits) … I was at the verge of losing my mind.

I withdraw from all that is related to Muslim faith & became a non-religious atheist…. But it is hard to live in a body with an empty soul & spirit…. By accident, I met a Christian Egyptian on facebook and he connected me (strange enough for me) with a Christian Moroccan. God used them to open my heart & receive the Spirit of God in …. I accepted God’s Spirit, that the world rejects…. His Spirit lives in me to guide, teach & strengthen me….. I accepted the Lord Jesus in my life & my heart started to taste the true joy & peace…. My joy will be complete when I meet fellow-Christians & get baptised!